1,2,3, Loplocks
“No I’m telling you Laurie, there was like 20 different letters or whatever you call ’em in there!” Donna said.
Laurie could hear the concern and near panic in her best friend’s voice, but couldn’t resist smiling. She was glad they were on the phone, and that Donna couldn’t see her. “I believe they’re called email messages,” she said.
“Email messages, letters, whatever. They were sick, Laurie! They were all different but all the same, you know what I mean? I mean they all had to do with exactly the same thing.”
“Well you know Donna, I don’t mean to sound harsh here, but really it’s your own fault. By rights you should have never even been messin’ around with his computer in the first place.”
“What difference does that make?” Donna was incredulous, she couldn’t believe that her best friend would actually take Dave’s side in this. Especially when she knew just how sick this whole thing was.
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For her part, Laurie was trying to be sympathetic to her friend, but given the nature of Donna’s intrusion into Dave’s privacy, and the subject of her concern over what she had found, Laurie felt envy more than pity. From the very instant that Donna had told her the contents of the email messages, Laurie felt a twinge of excitement course through her body. Like Donna, Laurie had known Dave for many years, and had never once suspected that he had such a fetish. She too had been interested in Dave, but when her best friend Donna had expressed an interest in him, she stepped aside and did not interfere while Donna pursued him. That was four years ago now, and more than ever Laurie now regretted her decision not to go after Dave herself. With this new revelation about Dave’s fetish, she wished he were hers. An image came to her mind of Dave standing behind her, scissors in hand, her long brown hair falling strand by strand to the floor under the gentle and insistent ministrations of his shears. Donna’s voice, shrill and insistent snapped her back to reality.
“What the hell am I gonna do Laur? I mean he’s sick, demented. It’s obvious he fantasizes about cutting women’s hair off, and in at least 5 of those things he uses the name Donna for the woman who’s hair he chops off. It’s obvious he’s talking about me. How in the hell can I face him knowing all this? I’m scared to death of him now.”
“I think you’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion a bit Donna.”
“What? You gotta be shitin’ me Laur! How the hell could you say that? The guy fantasizes about shaving women’s heads! He fantasizes about shaving my head! That’s sick! How the hell can you say I’m blowin’ it out of proportion?!”
“Jesus Christ Donna calm down! Listen, you’re my best friend, and I love you dearly, but you have to remember two things here. First of all, if you hadn’t gone messin’ around with his computer in the first place, you wouldn’t know a thing about any of this. Second of all, no listen to me, second of all, he has never actually done anything to you about this fetish. I mean he’s never asked you to let him cut your hair, or done anything to make you think he’s wanted to, right?”
“That’s not the point Laur.”
“No that is the point Donna!” So what if he fantasizes about it? Everyone fantasizes for Christ’s sake. And don’t even say that you don’t. You fantasize. And I’ll be willing to bet that you have fantasies about things that you have never told Dave about. That’s why they’re fantasies. It doesn’t make you sick, or a bad person. Just means you’re healthy and you have fantasies. And it doesn’t make Dave sick either. It’s not like he’s actually out there doing these things. So personally, I don’t see what the problem is. I mean it’s not like he has fantasies about raping women or kids, or killing people or anything. You said yourself that in all of those messages he describes situations where the woman wants her hair cut. So it’s not even like he’s forcing anything on anyone even in his fantasies.”
“Oh sure,” Donna retorted. “And when’s the last time you heard of a woman actually wanting to get her hair cut off or her head shaved?”
Laurie laughed to herself briefly. If only Donna knew. “Actually Donna, I have heard of women who like to have their hair cut. In fact I’ve known a few.”
“It’s not the same thing, Laur, and you know it. I like getting my hair done too. It’s very relaxing and I love the way it looks and feels when it’s freshly trimmed and styled. We’re not talking about that here though. We’re talking about Dave wanting to shave women’s heads. Shit! For all I know, he’s fantasizing about shaving my head every time we make love!”
“So what? From what you’ve told me, you two have some pretty hot sex!”
“That’s not the point! This means that it’s not me, myself, that makes him so hot. It’s him thinking about shaving my head.”
“What the hell difference does that make? Are you actually gonna sit there and tell me that you don’t fantasize about doing some off the wall things with him while you make love? Things that you’ve never even thought of telling him cause you are afraid he’ll think you’re weird? Come on Donna, it’s me, remember. I know you. You’ve told me some of the things you’d like to do. And personally I don’t think his fantasies are any sicker than some of yours.”
“So what are you sayin’ Laur? You saying I should just forget I know anything about all this? Just act like everything is normal? Shit, every time he looks at me, or touches my hair, I’m gonna be thinking he wants to cut it all off.”
Laurie didn’t answer right away. If she let her, Donna would go on like this for hours, and Laurie just couldn’t listen to this any more. Aside from the fact that she wished she were in Donna’s place, there was just no talking to Donna at this point. She decided to just put it right to her.
“Well listen Donna, why don’t you just give him what he wants?”
“WHAT! ARE YOU FUCKIN NUTS OR SOMETHING! HOW IN THE HELL COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT?”
“Oh for Christ’s sake Donna, calm the hell down. Jesus Christ! You act like he wants to murder you or something. If the man wants to cut your hair, let him cut it!”
“Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you talkin’ about? I can’t believe you just said that to me!”
“Well I’m sorry Donna. Personally I don’t think it’s sick like you do. Like I said you have more perverted fantasies than his. Hell I do too. You’re my best friend in the whole world Donna, and I really do love you to death, but you’re being really hypocritical here. A fantasy is a fantasy, plain and simple. He’s never given you any reason to fear him, and you shouldn’t start fearing him now just because you know he has a fetish. Hell I seem to remember a little agreement you and him have about his computer being his private property and that you would not violate his privacy that way. Realistically speaking Donna, he’s the one who has the right to be pissed here.”
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re saying this to me.”
“Well I am saying it Donna. And if you’d just calm down a bit and be honest about this whole situation, you’d realize that if you hadn’t broken a promise that you made to him in the first place, you wouldn’t be worrying about this now.”
Donna grew silent. She hated to admit it, but Laurie was right. She had broken a promise to Dave. But how could Laurie be so calm about all this? As a woman she would think Laurie would be just as upset at the thought that this man would actually fantasize about doing something that was so detrimental and degrading to women. And she really couldn’t believe that Laurie would actually suggest that she give Dave what he wanted. Her hair? How could Laurie even suggest such a thing? If Laurie were in her shoes she’d probably dump him in a NY second. Laurie, who probably spent a small fortune, and half of her life making sure that her hair was as beautiful as it could possibly be, telling her that she should give Dave what he wanted. She would have probably wanted to kill her if she had ever said such a thing to her. But it’s always easier to tell someone to do something that you know you’d never do yourself.
“Ok, you’re right. I broke my promise to him. I should have never messed with his computer. But it’s too late now, I did it. That doesn’t change anything now. I mean, Christ, Laurie, how the hell would you feel if you just found out that your boyfriend fantasizes about cutting all your hair off? You’d be just as upset as I am and you know it.”
“You’re wrong Donna. I wouldn’t. If I did something that I knew I wasn’t supposed to do in the first place, then I wouldn’t be upset about what I found. If you do something that you know you’re not supposed to do, then you have to be willing to suffer the consequences. Like the old saying goes, if you can’t do the time, then don’t do the crime.”
“Alright already, I get the point. I already told you you’re right. But that doesn’t change things. I was wrong. But I know now, and I don’t know what to do.”
“I told you what to do. Either forget about it, or give him what he wants.”
“There you go again! How the hell can you say that to me? How the hell would you feel if you were in my shoes and I told you to give him what he wanted? How would you feel if I told you that you should let your boyfriend satisfy some sick fantasy and cut all your hair off?”
Laurie thought about it for a second, and decided to just be perfectly frank with Donna. What the hell she thought, this is probably the only thing Donna doesn’t know about her. This seemed like the perfect time to tell her.
“Actually Donna, to be perfectly honest with ya, if it were me, I’d let him do it.”
“Bullshit! I can’t believe you just said that! What do you think I am, stupid or something? You forget I’ve known you for a long time Laurie. I don’t have the slightest idea why you would say something like that, but I happen to know for a fact that that’s not true. You’d never let anyone cut your hair off. Not with the way you feel about your hair.”
“Well, I said it and I meant it Donna. I would let him do it. And you’re right, you probably know me better than anyone else in the world, but you don’t know everything about me. And this just happens to be one of the things you didn’t know. Until now that is.”
“What the hell are you talking about Laur?”
“Look, you wanted to know how I would feel if I were in your shoes, and I’m telling you. If it were me, I’d let him cut my hair. Plain and simple.”
“Oh my god, I can’t believe this.”
“Well, you’d better believe it Donna, cause it’s true. The simple fact is, Dave is not the only person you know who has a hair fetish.”
“You gotta be kidding me? How could you never tell me this? Wait a second. If you have this hair fetish like you say you do, then how come you’ve never once had your hair short, or even said you wanted it short?”
Laurie laughed heartily and said, “Are you kidding me? Look at how you’re reacting to the fact that Dave has the fetish! Why would I want to tell you something when I already knew how you’d react?”
“Oh my god, I can’t believe this. This is just too weird. I need some time to think about all of this. Jesus Christ, this is too much. I find out my boyfriend wants to cut my hair off, and my best friend thinks I should let him, and she would let him if she were me because she has the same fetish, all in a matter of an hour. I feel like my brain is melting or something. I have to go. This is all just too much for me to handle.”
“Ok. Well I’m sorry if this is gonna put some sort of strain on our friendship, but you asked. Give me a call when you’ve got it all sorted out and come to grips with it.”
“I’ll call you later. Bye.”
“Yeah, bye.”
Donna looked up at the clock, 2:30. In three and a half hours Dave would be home. What was she gonna do? How could she even look at Dave now knowing that he was probably looking at her imagining her hair being chopped off. A shiver ran own her spine at the thought, and a feeling of sickness settled into her stomach. Then the thought struck her. How could she even confront him about all this? If she did, he would know that she had violated his privacy and played with his computer. With that thought came a reality. If he found out she was messing with his computer, he would be extremely pissed, and she had no idea how he’d react. They had made the agreement the day she moved in with him. His computer, he said, contained his most intimate thoughts. Invading it would be the same as invading his mind. He said it was the same as if she kept a diary. He would never ever read any diary she might keep, and he expected the same courtesy from her. He was absolutely right. If she did keep a diary, she would expect him to respect her privacy and never read it. Same thing. She betrayed his trust. And no matter what she thought about what she found, the ends did not justify the means. And then there was Laurie. She thought she knew her so well. Wow, what a mind-blower. Laurie and Dave. An image of Laurie getting her hair chopped off by Dave flashed through her mind. She shook herself. What was she gonna do! If she told Dave she knew about his secret desire, she was sure he would break up with her for betraying his trust. But if she didn’t confront him she feared it would eat her up inside. She went into a sort of trance thinking about it all. And as she thought, the kernel of a thought developed in the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. The thought turned to a sound. The sound turned into a voice. Slowly the voice got louder and louder. The voice was saying four words over and over again. With a jolt, she snapped out of the trance. The voice rang like Big Ben in her ears. ‘Let him do it. Let him do it. Let him do it.’ The voice said the four words over and over. She did not want to lose Dave. She loved him too much to let this end their relationship. ‘Let him do it,’ the voice insisted. She couldn’t get her hair chopped off. ‘Let him do it,’ the voice persisted. She loved her hair too much. ‘Let him do it,’ said the voice. She got up and went to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. Touched her hair. Her beautiful long blond hair. She could never part with it. ‘Let him do it.’ She pulled all of her hair back in a tight ponytail. ‘Let him do it.’ Her eyes lowered, and for the first time the voice in her head made a connection with her vocal cords. ‘Let him do it.’ The words were said aloud. Her own voice had said it. Let him do it.
She looked back into the mirror and said the words again. “Let him do it, let him do it, let him do it.” She went back to the living room and picked up the phone. She dialed Laurie’s number.
“Hello?”
“It’s me again. I need to talk to you.”
“Well I certainly didn’t expect to hear from you again so soon. When we hung up it sounded like you had a major crisis on your hands.”
“Yeah listen. First of all I want to say I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Well I jumped all over you for no good reason. You were right with everything you said.”
“Well I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. It was forgotten as soon as it happened as far as I’m concerned.”
“Thanks. But I do want to ask you something?”
“Go ahead, I’m all ears.”
“Hmmmm, Jeez, this is so awkward for me. I’m wondering if you really meant what you said? You know about how if it was you, you’d give him what he wanted?”
“Yes, I really meant it. Boy did I really mean it!”
“God. That’s so unreal. I mean, I’m not criticizing you, please don’t take it that way. It’s just that I would have never dreamed that. I mean you have always taken such good care of your hair. You’ve always been so fussy about it, always so meticulous about it. Never in a million years would I think that you’d actually let someone cut it all off.”
“What can I say, I would.”
“Yeah but why? I mean what would it do for you? And how come you never did anything about it? I mean how come you’ve never gotten it cut short?”
“Well I guess because I’ve never gotten lucky enough to have a boyfriend like Dave who would get off on cutting it as much as I would get off by having it cut.”
“Get off? You mean you would actually get off because of it? It’s like actually sexually arousing for you to get all your hair cut off?”
“Well as you just pointed out, I’ve never actually done it, so I don’t REALLY know if it would get me off to have it done. But I do know that I’ve had many, many orgasms fantasizing about it.”
“Holy shit! Why though? I mean what does it do for you? What is there about it that’s arousing?”
“Look. I don’t know. I’m not sure that I even understand it. All I can tell you is that it definitely does. I’m sorry if that offends your sense of normalcy or whatever, but it does arouse me, and I can’t begin to explain why.”
“God this is all so crazy. After we hung up I got to thinking. And I know I can’t just confront Dave with this, cause if I do, he’s gonna know I was playing with his computer. And like you pointed out, I promised him I would never do that.”
“Well then just forget about it. Like I said. He’s never done anything to you. He’s only human you know. He has fantasies just like everyone else. Just like you.”
“I know you’re right. But I can’t just forget about it.”
“Well, you’d better. Like I said before, you have to either forget about it or give him what he wants. If you give him what he wants, then I don’t think he’ll care very much that you invaded his privacy, and betrayed his trust in you.”
The line seemed to go dead for a long time. Laurie nearly hung up thinking that Donna had already done so. Then she heard a faint sigh. She knew.
“You’re gonna do it aren’t you? You’re gonna give him what he wants?”
The answer took a long time to come. Finally Donna uttered a flat “yes”. Shock and jealousy hit Laurie at the same time. “Oh my god. Really? You’re really gonna let him cut your hair?”
“Yes, I think I am. Don’t ask me why, cause I don’t know why. But I sat here for a few minutes after we hung up, and the next thing I knew I decided I was gonna let him do it.”
“That’s great! But I don’t mind telling you, I’m very jealous here. You’re gonna do something that I’ve only been able to fantasize about for all these years.”
“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I didn’t want to say anything about this before because I didn’t know how you’d react to it, but a couple of those messages or letters or whatever you want to call them had the name Laurie in them. I don’t think it’s too hard to imagine who he meant.”
“You’re kidding? He uses the name Laurie? And you think he’s referring to me?”
“No I’m not kidding at all. If you don’t believe me, you’re welcome to come over here and read them yourself.”
“No, I believe you! But what makes you think he was referring to me?”
“Oh come on Laurie. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. You know as well as I do that when he used the name Donna he meant me, and you know that when he used the name Laurie he meant you.”
“Yeah I guess you’re right. So what are you getting at?”
“Well you said that if it was you that he wanted to shear, you’d let him.”
“Yeah, if he was my boyfriend. But he’s not, he’s your boyfriend.”
“So what? What difference does that make?”
“Because, stupid. Hello? Earth to Donna. I told you, it’s sexually arousing for me. I can’t very well do something with your boyfriend that involves sex.”
“Actually, I’ve been thinking about that too since you said that it is arousing for you.”
“Oh come on. You know as well as I do that you’d never be able to handle seeing Dave with another woman.”
“Well you’re wrong about that. See, I never told you this before, but Dave and I have already had a couple of threesomes.”
“You’re shittin’ me?”
“Nope. It is kind of a mutual fantasy for us.”
“So get to the point.”
“I think you already know the point. We both know that you had the major hots for Dave. And I happen to know for a fact that Dave has always considered you attractive. And we both know now that he’d like to cut both of our hair. So, if you’re so serious about all this, then I’m thinking we should both give Dave a big surprise.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very. If you’ll do it I will too. Actually, if you’d go through with it, then it will make it a hell of a lot easier for me to do it.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“I am right now! But if you keep asking me that, you’re gonna end up making me change my mind. It’s up to you. You want to do it? Or were you just bullshittin’?”
“Ok! I won’t ask again if you’re sure. You got it. Let’s do it. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. This isn’t exactly the way I imagined doing it, but then again, now that the situation presents itself, I think it would be even better than anything I’ve ever imagined. So how do you want to go about this?”
“God I can’t believe I’m really gonna do this. But ok, here’s what we’re gonna do.”
Laurie listened intently as Donna laid out a rough plan. It was obvious that she hadn’t thought it through completely, and it needed some refinement, but it was a good base plan. Within a half hour after they hung up the phone, Laurie arrived at Donna’s house. As soon as she was inside and the door was closed, she pulled a home haircutting kit from the K-Mart bag she was carrying. Donna felt a knot develop in her stomach. The instant she saw the clipper, her first instinct was to call the whole thing off. But something inside her told her that she couldn’t. That little voice again, ‘let him do it.’ She was caught between a rock and a hard place, and knew that the only way she could make it up to Dave for her intrusion into his privacy was to give him the one thing he wanted so badly that he wrote about it over and over again. She steeled herself against the feeling of sickness in her stomach, and promised herself that no matter what, she was going to go through with this. ‘Besides,’ she thought to herself, ‘if Laurie could go through with it, so could I.’
“Hey! You alright?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”
“Yeah right. You’re as white as a ghost. Listen, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“No. I have to do this. If I confront Dave about this without letting him cut my hair, he’ll never forgive me for reading his computer messages. And I know, you’re gonna say that I should just forget it then, but I can’t do that either. No, I’m scared witless about this, but I’ve made up my mind, and I’m gonna do it.”
“Well I’m sorry, but I personally am looking forward to it. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier for you, or make you able to enjoy it, but I don’t think it’s there’s anything I can say that will help you to appreciate it or enjoy it.”
“I appreciate the thought. And I’ll be fine. Actually, I think I’m starting to look forward to it, if for no other reason then to get it over with so I can stop feeling guilty over what I did. In any case, why don’t you come on over here and read what he had to say about me, and you.”
Together they read the messages contained in a file that Laurie knew Donna had to search long and hard for to find. When they came to a message that mentioned the name Laurie, Laurie knew there was no doubt that she was the Laurie in the message was her. As she read, she felt hot flush after hot flush rush through her. The message was a story. The descriptions in the story of how he cut Laurie’s hair were so graphic, so erotic, that she felt as though she would have an orgasm just reading it. ‘Good god,’ she thought, ‘if he does half of what he says in this story to me, I’m gonna be in heaven.’
They read a few more of the messages, then Donna shut the computer off. A faint sweat had broken out on Laurie’s face, and she was as red as a beet.
“Jesus Christ, it really is arousing for you isn’t it?”
“I didn’t say it just to hear myself speak.”
“Well he’s gonna be home soon. If we’re really gonna do this, then I guess we’d better get going and get everything ready.”
She got no argument from Laurie, and the two women set about making the proper preparations. As they worked to create the perfect set-up, they finalized the approach they would take to the whole thing. A strange feeling began to wash over Donna. She could hardly believe it, but as the two women worked to set everything up, Laurie kept expressing her excitement over the whole thing, and as she spoke, Donna, much to her own shock, seemed to understand more and more the source and reason for Laurie’s excitement. In spite of herself, Donna found herself looking forward to the experience. She had already resigned herself to doing it, and though she still felt afraid, her resignation caused the fear to give way to genuine curiosity. What would it be like to actually watch Laurie get all of her beautiful chestnut brown hair chopped off? What would it be like to sit and let Dave cut her own long blond hair off? She imagined Dave’s excitement over the whole thing. How great the sex would be. As the thought of Dave’s arousal ran through her mind, she found herself becoming excited. In a flash it seemed to all come crashing down on her in a cascade of understanding. She turned to Laurie with a look of utter amazement on her face and said, “Holy shit, I can’t believe this.”
“What?”
“I understand! Don’t ask me how, but I understand now.”
“I’m lost. You understand what?”
“I understand how it could be so arousing! I can’t believe it, but all of a sudden, it hit me. I understand how it could be so arousing. Hell, I just felt a rush like you wouldn’t believe.”
“You’re shittin’ me? You mean to tell me that you’re actually looking forward to it now?”
“Yes! I really am. I’m not sure I understand how it happened, but something just hit me, and I’m actually looking forward to it now.”
“Oh Donna. We are gonna have such a good time tonight. I can’t wait to see the look on Dave’s face.”
“Listen I want to say this to you. At the risk of sounding corny, THANKS!”
“For what?”
“Without you, I would have never even considered doing this. I would have probably just confronted Dave, and would have probably ended up losing him. You made me think about it. If not for you, I’d be sitting here right now waiting for him to come home so I could confront him. Instead, I’m getting ready for what could end up being the hottest sexual experience of my life.”
“Of our lives.”
“Yeah. Now the only problem we have is who’s gonna go first?”
“Oh no you don’t. We settled that one over the phone.”
“Yeah, but that was before this new understanding hit me.”
“Too late! We agreed. I’m first and that’s all there is to it. Besides, you’ll get to see what your hair is gonna look like by the time he’s done with you.”
“Oh all right.”
“Well, it looks like everything is ready. What do you say we go have a drink and wait for Dave?”
“Let’s.”
The two women sat sipping their drinks, giggling like a pair of schoolgirls. An entirely new dimension to their friendship had evolved, and with it a new sense of closeness. They looked up with eager smiles on their faces as Dave entered the house. In unison they said “Hi Dave!”