She Drives Me Crazy
A few years ago, the music group “Fine Young Cannibals” came out with a great song called “She Drives Me Crazy”. The lyrics were mainly “She drives me crazy, that long blond hair.” The song was very popular and it had a good beat but for some reason the video didn’t have a single picture of a woman with long blond hair.!!!??? All that was shown was the group members doing a silly walk back and forth in front of the camera. So for all of you that were disappointed by the missed opportunity, the lack of imagination, creativity and originality, this is the hypothetical remake of that video. Hopefully, “The Cannibals” or another musical group, will see the potential and remake the video properly. To get the full effect of my remake, you should get a copy of the song and play it while reading this!
The scene opens with the camera focused on the back of a lady’s head, her blond hair is beautiful. As the camera stops, the lady continues walking and we see that she is an exceptionally attractive, tall, thin woman and her hair goes all the way down to her butt!. In fact she is so unbelievably gorgeous, you immediately think she must be a professional model. It is a hot, sunny day which probably explains why she is wearing nothing but a small, tight fitting bikini. She is probably walking to the beach.
The next scene the camera focuses on the outside of a barber shop, inside two men are being shaved. An older, short barber, with black, slicked back hair stands outside the shop under the rotating red and white barber pole. He wears a crisp, white barber uniform. He looks bored. We immediately see his eyes pop open wide and his jaw seems to drop to the ground. The previous beautiful, blond model passes by, and he follows her every move. After she passes, he quickly goes into the shop and within seconds, the other two barbers and both customers hurry outside to get a glimpse of her. All five men have black, slicked down hair, both customers faces are covered in shaving cream and both barbers are caring straight razors. Their expressions are all similar – mouths and eyes as wide as possible, as they seem to follow the woman (off camera) until they can see her no more. They immediately hold a quick discussion among themselves and go back into the barber shop. Fade to black.
The next scene, we see all three barbers sitting in their chairs waiting for customers. In walk three very beautiful long hair blond women wearing very short skirts and very revealing halter tops. Each with a small boy. Each boy has jet black hair and is in desperate need of a haircut. (Their hair is just past their eyebrows, over their collars and completely covering their ears). The three barbers immediately get up, almost tripping over their own feet and bumping into each other. The barbers throw their white capes over the young men sitting in the chairs as the young attractive blond women sit down directly across from the barbers. While the barbers cut the young boys’ hair, they are looking across the room constantly at the beautiful blond women. The women all talk with each other, unconsciously (perhaps teasingly) tossing and playing with their hair. All three barbers seem to be on the verge of drooling, as they cut the young boys’ hair, staring intently at their moms hair. As the children with their short, black, plastered down hair hop out of the chairs and walk to greet their moms, all three barbers gesture to the moms, eagerly inviting the mothers to have a seat in their chairs. All three laugh or giggle as if to think its a joke.
The next scene, as the camera pans all three barber positions, all three women are in the chair having their hair cut by scissors and clippers as the barbers have very large smiles on their faces and the women look horrified, while their children look on with glee. As the camera pans across, all three women are getting their short, slicked down, parted hair, combed into place by the barbers. They all have the same humiliated expression on their faces.
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We realize that the barbers were day-dreaming, as the next scene shows all three blond women, with their long hair, walking out of the barber shop with their freshly cropped children, and the barbers with disappointed expressions on their faces.
The next scene is the same as the previous, but this time there are three different long hair blond women and they are bringing in their teenage sons – also badly in need of haircuts. They have hair almost to their shoulders! The previously scene is once again repeated, only the sons wind up with flattops, as do the women in the dream. Once again we see the sad expressions as the barbers look on again, as the long hair blond women walk out with their freshly clipped teenage sons.
The scene is again repeated for a third time, this time three other long hair blond women walk in with their boyfriends. The boyfriends get crew cuts, as do the women in the dream. After this daydream, the barbers seem more disappointed than ever, shaking their heads and mumbling to themselves.
The next scene, we see another long-haired blond woman walking by the barber shop. Suddenly an arm comes out of the barber shop and pulls her inside. This happens two more times, to two more long-haired blond women walking by the barber shop. The scene changes to the inside of the barber shop where all three distressed looking women have been tied to the barber chairs and gagged. They are all struggling as the barbers are gleefully cutting off their hair. With each pan of the camera we see the three helpless young women getting their hair cut shorter and shorter and shorter. The next pan of the camera shows all three ladies are having their heads lathered up by the barbers. Many long, cutoff strands of blond hair cover the shoulders of the ladies and are piled around the chair. The next camera pan the ladies heads are being shaved with straight razors. The next scene they are simultaneously having after-shave lotion rubbed briskly into their scalps while painful expressions cover their faces.
The subsequent scene has all three totally bald women walking out of the barber shop with looks of bewilderment on their faces. All three bald women are rubbing their shinny bald scalps. The barbers follow them outside and as the women walk out of the camera’s view, all three barbers stand by the door with big smiles and looks of pleasure and contentment covering their faces. As the original, first long hair model walks by, all three barbers follow her intently with their heads, and after she passes, they start running after her, carrying their scissors, electric clippers a mug full of shaving cream and a straight razor!
I hope you liked my first attempt at writing a video script. The following two pages are the words to the song, line them up as you read the script. Any other videos that you can think of that need redoing, let me know!
The_Barbur@AOL.com
SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY
I can’t stop The way I feel Things you do Don’t seem real
Tell you what I got in mind Cuz we’re runnin’ out of time Won’t you ever set me free This waitin’ round is killin’ me
She drives me crazy That long blond hair She drives me crazy And I can’t help myself
I can’t get any rest People say I’m obsessed Everything that’s serious lasts But to me there’s no surprise What I have, fatal last truth Things go wrong, they always do
She drives me crazy That long blond hair She drives me crazy And I can’t help myself
I won’t make it On my own No one likes To be alone
She drives me crazy That long blond hair She drives me crazy And I can’t help myself
She drives me crazy That long blond hair She drives me crazy And I can’t help myself
She drives me crazy That long blond hair She drives me crazy And I can’t help myself
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