ABBA
I married a beautiful Asian girl and from the first moment we were instantly in love. It was pure chemistry, and best of all it was mutual. We made all preparation for her to come to the US and finally the day arrived and I met her at the airport and took her home and we began our story-book life together.
One chapter in the story took a very unexpected turn. Let me explain. She was smallish, about 5’2″ tall and petite. Every feature was almost perfect for her size. She has beautiful dark eyes that flash and twinkle when she smiles and it was those eyes and her touch that stole my heart completely. However, I must confess that one aspect of her physical appearance completely enthralled me. She had the most beautiful, black hair with dark brown through it. It was so thick I didn’t see how she could brush it and was just as thick at the ends as at the top. It was silky soft and naturally shiny and hung well past her hips. I never tired of touching it and wrapping myself in it when we were in bed.
My only concern was one that was shared by my wife. After a few months of newly-wedded bliss she began to wonder, as did I, how she would meet some new friends. Finally, she met another Asian girl at church and they became fast friends. As the months went on, her new friend took her to some get-togethers and she began to develop a base of friends and we were both happy about that and everything seemed perfect at last.
One evening she returned home from one of her friends’ houses and announced that she had been invited to attend the first meeting of a newly formed club in town called ABBA. She said that it was a club for Asian women only and it met once a month, beginning the following Friday, and asked if it would be OK. I of course said yes. Friday came and her friend picked her up and off they went. She returned about 11:00 that night, just grinning from ear to ear. She said she had met another small group of Asian women who were all so friendly and natural. She had been the twelfth woman invited, and for the club to form, there had to be 12 initial members and she was so excited about it that I had no choice but to consent to her joining.
The next month, they met again and she came home afterwards and talked endlessly about her new group of friends. She said that the club was apparently a social club, because all they had done was eat Asian food and spent time getting to know each other. I asked her what ABBA stood for and she didn’t know and said it wasn’t important. I agreed, but we would soon learn that it was actually very important.
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She missed the next months meeting due to a minor cold and one of the other members called her to see if she was alright and my wife assured her that she was OK and that she still intended to be in the club. As the next few months went on she began to comment that a lot of the women were getting their hair cut shorter. She went on to say that there were a great many comments on how beautiful her hair was and she was encouraged to never cut it, advice she was eager to accept, assuring them she would not.
One night, she came home and announced that the initiation to the club was to be the next month. She was beaming with pride as she told me next that the group had unanimously elected her to be the first “Queen” of the group. She was so proud and happy that she had a lot of trouble calming down enough to get anything else done for the next month. During this month, she found out that the husbands were invited to the initiation so they could get aquatinted as well. I figured if we were invited, it couldn’t be a very rough initiation, so I agreed.
Finally the big night arrived and I took her to the meeting hall where the club was to officially begin its existence. The first hour was an open bar and a few drinks were had and hands shaken and pleasantries exchanged. Finally the meeting was called to order and the husbands took seats in the back of the room and the 12 ladies were seated in a semi-circle with one larger chair facing the others, out in front. A lady who was apparently from the parent chapter of the club took center stage and began to address the group.
“Welcome to the first official meeting of chapter 112 of ABBA, and congratulations on your choice to be here for tonight’s formalities. May I have a show of hands to indicate how many of you have chosen to become official members of the organization tonight?” All twelve ladies raised their hands. ” Wonderful, and I understand that you have already chosen your first Queen. Would someone bring her forward and introduce her formally to me and the group?”
One of the other women stood and took my wife by the hand and brought her to the center and introduced her to the leader and then formally to the group. She looked so beautiful and had the biggest smile on her face and I was feeling pretty proud to have the most beautiful lady in the crowd as my wife. Then the moderator spoke directly to my wife and said, “Please raise your right hand. Do you agree to membership in this organization?” She answered “yes” with a big grin and nod of her head. “Do you accept the nomination of the members as their queen, accepting all the responsibilities and rules associated with the honor, and solemnly promise to abide by all the rules of the club and remain the Queen for a period of two years from this night?”
“Yes I will, I promise,” she said.
With that the leader of the group announced her to the rest of the ladies as their new Queen and cheers and applause greeted my beautiful wife, and she looked about ready to burst with pride and happiness. The leader of the group then invited her to sit in the chair in the center, and as she did, her hair was pulled out from behind her and draped over the back of the chair, where it nearly touched the floor. A white silk robe-like cape was then fastened around her neck and her hair was pulled out from under it again and she looked truly beautiful.
The leader then began to speak again. “We will now begin the general initiation.” With that four other women stood up behind the main group and came up behind them and began to place striped barbers capes around the necks of all the other women. “In compliance with the rules and regulations of ABBA, which you have all sworn to abide by and uphold, each of you, with the exception of your Queen, will now be given your haircuts. As you know, as long as you are members of Asian Bald Beauties of America, you will keep your hair cut as it will be tonight.” Most of the ladies nodded their heads. I could see the look in my wife’s eyes and on her face. It was a look of bewilderment. Apparently she really missed a lot at that one meeting she did not attend.
The four other women then produced electric hair clippers and each of the other new members were given crew cuts as my shocked beautiful wife looked on. When all of the other eleven women had been shorn and the capes removed, the leader returned to a place behind my wife. “As you know, only the Queen is allowed to be completely bald, and she must stay that way until her two-year reign is concluded, at which time she must then join the rest of the group by allowing her hair to be cut the same as the rest of you. You will all be responsible for keeping your haircuts in perfect order from now on. Is this understood?” The group responded with a collective “Yes”. By this time my wife had a look of horror on her face, confusion, fear, bewilderment, all registered in her eyes as she began to tear up, but she was paralyzed, perhaps from shock, disbelief or just fear, it’s hard to say. From this point on things moved too fast for anyone to stop, and it didn’t look like anyone was going to. While the moderator had been speaking, a small cart had been wheeled to her side, behind my wife. She quickly picked up electric clippers, snapped them on, placed her left hand on my wife’s forehead, holding her thin bangs up and back, placed the clippers at the hairline on her forehead and in one smooth motion began to pull them backwards across the top of my wife’s head.
Sheer panic registered instantly on my wife’s face and it was obvious she was paralyzed by it. As the clippers moved back across her head, a white path of scalp appeared and sheets of her beautiful black hair fell to the floor behind her. Again the clippers were drawn back across her head and more hair fell. The tears of realization began to flow and my wife closed her eyes in realization of what was happening to her. The top was shorn and the moderator began to shave the side of her head. Cascades of beautiful hair continued to fall and pile up on the floor. Finally her head was pushed down in a position of complete submission as the clippers were stroked slowly up the back of her head and over the top. The hair on the floor was so thick it was beginning to pile up as the moderator continuously pushed it aside with her foot as she worked her way around my wife’s head. Finally the clippers were turned off and I could see my wife trembling and sobbing quietly.
The sound of the hot lather machine was unfamiliar to my wife and it didn’t fully register as she struggled internally to come to grips with what had happened. The lather was spread onto her head and slowly the realization began to come that her head was now being shaved by a razor. More tears.
As the last of the shaving cream was wiped away from her now bald head, the moderator picked up a tube of some other substance and began to spread it on her head. As she did this she spoke again: “The job of keeping oneself bald for two years is a difficult one and we have found that it makes it less enjoyable to be our Queen. This substance we have just put on will make this a great deal easier for our new queen. This is our own formula and we have found that if we leave it on for just another 5 minutes or so it will completely eliminate all hair growth for a period of approximately 2 years.” With this, real panic returned to my wife’s face, but she was powerless to know what to do or to react in any other way. The moderator went on: “However, there is one possible drawback. In about 70 percent of the cases where we have used this formula, the hair loss has been permanent. These ladies have never been able to grow hair again and are permanently bald for life. Unfortunately we will not know the result in this case for two years. As previously stated, the queen is the only one allowed to be bald. Therefore, if our new queen is now permanently bald, she will have to leave the club forever when a new queen is elected.”
With this she wiped the last of the substance off my wife’s head, polished it with an oily substance, removed her silk cape and announced her to the group as the reigning queen of the Asian Bald Beauties of America, local chapter 112.
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