Story About Nancy

by Bob-Barker · November 22, 2022

This is a story about Nancey….

Last night was my son’s final basketball game of the season. I had to go. On the way there, my wife informed me that Nancey would be there. She is the daughter of good friends who was on the east coast visiting. I knew immediately who she was when she walked up the bleachers. A few years ago her father showed her to me on a Harley calendar. 24-25 years old, a body that won’t quit and long straight blonde hair with just a little bend in it.

Everyone introduced themselves and then sat back to watch the game. Just a bit into the game her uncle ( just by marriage ) sat with me. He had been drinking most of the afternoon and was glowing to say the least. He then called to Nancey and said ” this is XXXXXXX, he’ll cut your hair for you. He’s the best…. blah blah blah blah. Her reply was ” I have a hairdresser and she’s the best. I pointed the video camera at her and said ” wanna bet ” ?

Before I go any further, I am sorry to say that the battery went dead 15 minutes later so no after shots. Sorry friends, just a brief shot of her before.

” I have been going to her for years, see? ( fanning out her hair ). I piped up again with something like, ” so what’s she done? ( her hair was pretty but anyone can run a pair of scissors straight across the bottom). ” you think you can do better”? ” I know I can ” She smiled, turned and continued to watch the game. Then came half time. the buzzer went off and she turns to me and says, ” you ready?” I knew instantly what she meant but played dumb. Ready for what? You think you’re the best hairdresser? Just then my wife’s head, and her aunt’s spin around, They know me well and this fly had just fallen into the spiders web. Well let’s do it she blurted. I said right now? Well, If you were THAT good you’d be prepared. Both my wife and her aunt knew something she didn’t, I ALWAYS have my hair cutting stuff in the trunk of the car.

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Okay, let’s go…. The look on her face was both puzzled and alarmed. I stood up and began to walk out. As I passed my wife I heard her say ” oh my god “. Your serious aren’t you ? Nancey said from the 4th bleacher up. My wife interupted ” he’s quite serious”. I was already half way out of the building when I turned around and saw her coming towards me. Also, all the folks who were with us, ( about 10) were staring too.

We got outside and she says, ” you’re not really serious, are you? Yeah, don’t you want the best hair style you’ve ever had? NO! ( hmmm, was I loosing the hunt? ). Well, okay if your afraid we can go back in but I thought you had the guts. I do, she said. lets do it. by now we were already at the car. We are also in a dimly lit parking lot. I opened the trunk and got my black bag out, opened it and took out a wide tooth comb, little tiny spray bottle, cape, scissors and almost just for effect my straight razor.

I think until that point she thought this was some kind of I dare you, you dare me sort of thing and it was not really going to go anywhere. She now was like a deer in the headlights. Just standing there stunned.

From the moment I first spoke to her about doing this, I had started to picture her with different styles. And if I do say so myself, think I am pretty good at visualizing it and then cutting it to match.

I decided that the best thing to do was a lightning fast bowl cut with a shining dome of blonde on top lightly layered, long clingy sideburns and her nape was to be sheared close with long clingy wisps down her nape.

She really lightened up and was certainly ready for this change. We got in the car and drove about 3-4 parking spots over to a light post. We got out and I put the cape on her. What are you going to do? Then I told her of the cut and she agreed that wouldn’t be so awful and would really like to stun them when she walked in. I figured the half time buzzer went off just 5 minutes ago. I had 25 minutes to get this done.

I sat her on the bumper and sprayed down her hair. Their was a ton of mousse or something in there but I had to get this done swiftly. I didn’t section her hair or anything. Just put the scissors even with her right eye and clipped towards the back but going up hill 1″ over her ear and the angled it down as I passed the ear for a wonderful bowl whose weight line was like a wave instead of straight and level. Then I continued around the back and towards the front to match. I have never seen so much long hair fall to earth in that quantity before. As I cut, I made sure to slide as much hair as I could over her shoulder where it would fall into her lap and keep on going to the pavement. I WAS IN HEAVEN. (I’m in heaven now recalling this) Then I gathered up vertical sections from her nape and cut them as close to my fingers as I could. I kept that up until I reached the other side. I picked up the razor and told her to be real still. I started to then pare down the 2 foot long fringe that was still at the base of her neck. I sprayed it down again because the razor cuts sooooo…. much easier when the hair’s wet. I picked up sections and started to slice through each piece for this wonderfully jagged, fine wisps now hugging her nape. Her real beauty was now shining through. I did the same razor technique to her side burns, and then cleaned up the weight line which extended from her eye, up 1″ over her ear and then down in the back 1 1/2″. I then lightly layered the top and feathered the edges of the weight line with the razor looked it over and took off the cape.

She reached up and felt her head which was still pretty wet. She made a joke about if I were that good I’d have a blow dryer. ” Well, I sure did it” she said. I told her that she looked awesome and we should go back in. I also made her promise to take pictures of herself when she went home and send them to me.

I tossed all my stuff in the trunk, put the hair in the trash and went in feeling like the great victor of a game or war. You should’a seen the look on the faces of our friends. My wife really just sorta expected it because this sort thing happens every now and then with me. All I heard was a lot of “Oh my God” and ” you look great”. I also put a digger into one of the girls there who, for the past 9 years was my guinea pig but has been growing her crewcut out into a (Yuck) permed shoulder thingy for a year. I looked at her and said you’re next, she just smiled and said ” you never know”

So…. what’s the moral of this story? Always be prepared And go to your childrens’ activities

I’ll never miss a game now!